A Home Somewhere in Between
A story that made us cry with joy & so much happening!
Dear Mehfil Friends,
To those new here, welcome! To our loyal supporters from the very start, thank you from the bottom of my heart and the core of my soul. When I started Mehfil last year, I never imagined this journey would connect me with so many of you across the diaspora—Toronto and beyond. Between two or more worlds we’re building a space just for us. Mehfil is for all of us, with kindness and empathy at it’s core. I have so many ideas, I’m just getting started!
Love,
Armish
🖼️ A Call for Submissions 🖼️
Father's Day is next month! We'll be doing a community post across our social platforms (just like we did for Mother's Day, hehe). Would love to see your adorable childhood photos with your father figures! To contribute, DM us or email itsourmehfil@gmail.com. 💕
✨ Mehfil Digest ✨
Mehfil Digest is a digital series where I (Armish 👋🏽) bring you a deep dive into the rich world of South Asian culture and history, in about a minute.
Last rant? The Untold Story of South Asian Kitty Parties!
🧡 Neither Here Nor There 🧡
Mehfil exists due to our very personal experience of feeling too South Asian for some people and spaces and not South Asian enough for others. All of us in the diaspora feel this. This section of our newsletter will focus on our experiences around this notion. We hope within these stories, you will find a safe space.
My Gold Baliyaan
A personal account written by: Erum Ahmad (Daughter, Friend & Entrepreneur based in BC)
Dedicated to my mother, who encourages me to be the best version of myself.
"You should wear silver. Gold doesn't really look good on you"
The dry, Okanagan, summer heat hitting my exposed skin. Her words felt harsher than the sun.
When I was 4 years old my mother gifted me these hoops baliyaan with love.
"These earrings were hand carved for you. As you grow older, you will understand their value and worth. You'll have them forever."
My mother's words echoing in my ears.
Clearly, they were not valuable. I mean the other girls thought they were ugly! They thought they looked dirty. “Ew, what kind of gold is that? I've never seen gold that dark.”
"Wear silver, silver is in".
I loved these earrings. If they hated my gold, then what else did they hate about me?
The almond oil in my braids?
The hair on my arms?
My bushy eyebrows?
My lunch box full of parathas?
I went home and told my mom I wanted silver earrings.
“The girls at school told me gold isn't pretty.”
She smiled at me softly and told me to follow her. Mom quietly took out my hoops and replaced them with their metallic peers.
"You look beautiful puth, mashallah"
"Thanks Mom"
I went to school the next day. Eager to show off my new hoops.
So many compliments, so many empty words, but I was too excited to notice.
5 years passed by. I realized fitting in didn't exactly mean "fitting in". It meant playing along.
I was too Desi for the white girls and too white for the Desi girls. A first-generation Canadian-Pakistani, daughter of two immigrants.
A mixture of lands and cultures; grandparents born in India, parents born in Pakistan, us born in Canada.
We never really "fit in" and maybe that's where we fit.
In between a valley where two mountains meet. Intimidating, but it's home.
I loved smelling like fennel, watching SRK, doing haldi masks, and being quadrilingual.
At 17, on my first day of grade 12, I asked my mom if she still had my gold baliyaan.
She smiled and switched out my silver for gold.
Carved like the beautiful valleys of my hometown. Sparkling, like dry summers in the Okanagan.
Gold, a cultural commodity.
"You grew up, do you see the value now?"
I said "of course, gold is very expensive, I understand"
She responded, "no, not the gold. You… your worth, your value”.
I looked at her with curiosity, but also amusement. “What do you mean mom?”
She replied “The gold didn't change, you did.”
When I walked into school I was greeted by my classmates.
“Omg, your hoops are so cute!”
Their arms adorned with gold bangles. Henna tattoos mehndhi on their shoulders. One was wearing a wrap skirt with an ambi design or as she claimed “paisley”.
“You know I've always loved gold, it's so elegant.”
“Did you see those cool headpieces at Coachella this year? SO Boho”.
I get a flashback to 5 years ago. Her words were a little different.
I smiled to myself.
The fall sun streaked through our first-floor classroom. Leaves turning copper.
Everything golden and beautiful.
A cultural commodity.
By sharing community-based stories, we hope they will make you feel be seen and find a home amongst them. We surely do.
Want to share a story with us? Please email us at itsourmehfil@gmail.com or submit via form below 🧡
🌟 In the Spotlight 🌟
A summer workshop series for South Asian Toronto-based youth (14-18) is being led by Moe Pramanick.
They will be experimenting with audio archiving and natural dyeing while sharing our migration stories. Inspired by Moe’s own desire to feel connected to family history, most of which was lost over generations of movement.
Please spread the word amongst your networks!
✨ Mehfil Favourites ✨
Here, we support and highlight brands that resonate with our community values, offering special perks exclusive for our Mehfil friends.
Safr Candles
Our friend Tooba's, Safr Candles magically bottles our shared South Asian memories through scent. From the comforting "Nani ka Ghar" to the nostalgic "Barish," each hand-poured, eco-friendly candle instantly takes us back. The name "Safr" (journey) perfectly captures our experience - moving forward while staying connected to our roots. A special discount code for the Mehfil community- “MEHFIL15”.
ERUM Co
A minimalist accessories brand owned and run by our friend Erum. P.S her story is featured in this newsletter above!
Based in British Columbia, her thoughtfully designed pieces celebrate the intersection of South Asian heritage and modern aesthetics. Her commitment to craftsmanship makes these accessories not just fashion statements but pieces that tell our shared story of moving between worlds while staying connected to our roots.
🪷 Fun Things Happening in the Toronto Diaspora! 🪷
Looking for something fun to do? We got you! Please get in touch with each organization/individual separately for more information. There is so much happening!
🏳️🌈 Queer South Asian Pride Community Dinner & Celebration (May 15)
LGBTQ+ South Asian folks and QTBIPOC friends only. We are excited to announce our community dinner is a Pride Toronto affiliate event! This is our 3rd annual community dinner and this year we are also celebrating QSA's 10th Anniversary!
📖 Book Swap by the Beautiful Chand Bhangal (May 18)
Bring a book you’d love to share. Wrap your book and write the theme/genre on the cover. Bring your own picnic blanket, swap books, and discover your next read! Come for the books, stay for the vibes.
🧶 Crochet Picnic with Tamil Girls Creative Club (May 18th)
Join for a cozy beginner-friendly crochet session near High Park, Toronto! We’ll be making a simple piece with guidance from two talented crochet experts.
🛍️ Bazaar by Virasat, a Pop-Up Market (May 18)
Come explore a collection of jewelry, threads, paintings and home decor treasures we have curated for our people. Shaunt Rafi will be on decks and tapestry will be serving their signature cocktails and mocktails.
✍🏽 Writing Workshop by Farah Ghafoor, JAYU Studio (May 22)
Farah Ghafoor is an award-winning Canadian poet whose debut poetry collection, Shadow Price, explores the climate crisis with urgency and lyricism. We’re thrilled to have her as a confirmed guest at our upcoming Writing Workshop!
🧘🏽♀️ Couple's Sculpt & Social, Her Wellness Collective (May 31)
A unique wellness date designed to help you move, connect, and unwind together. This event invites couples to connect through movement with a 1-hour mat pilates session, followed by post-workout refreshments and networking.
🥊 Gloves & Glow: A Private Boxing Affair, Her Wellness Collective (June 1)
This intimate event invites women to tap into their strength with a 1-hour private boxing session, followed by a luxury refresh and recharge bar to refuel post-sweat. Come punch, sip, and socialize — and leave feeling strong, recharged, and inspired.
🪩 Tama Sumo + Pursuit Grooves (Do West Special), UnTold Stories (June 6)
Tama Sumo is a standout German DJ and producer known for her eclectic style and sharp mixing skills across house, techno, and beyond. She kicked off her career in the '90s, playing small Berlin clubs, and has since carved out a solid reputation in the global underground scene. XLR8R called her “one of the best house and techno DJs in the world,” adding that her rise is all about her skills behind the decks. Join us on June for a night of quality underground house!
At Mehfil, our goal is to tell our stories. Curate our spaces. For the new age South Asian diaspora, as we are!
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